Connections

You might ask why a food blog is so encompassing of the rest of my life. Because in my mind everything is connected to everything else. What we eat and drink and smoke and take does not just go through us. It stays with us. It effects all aspects of our bodies and, I believe, our minds.
Food was my first love. My complicated relationship with food is one of the most important relationships in my life. I spend probably too much of my time thinking about, reading about and preparing the food that I eat and feed to others. But to not give in to these needs would be torture for me. And I closely monitor how what I eat and drink effects me. Perhaps this is because I am overly sensitive. Perhaps I have become a hypochondriac of sorts or perhaps I am more in tune with my body.
I try to use food to heal myself and sometimes to hurt myself, but I use it possibly more than I enjoy it. I am even learning to enjoy foods that I once deplored. I know they are good for me so I am learning to cook them in ways and with spices that make them taste better.
If my therapist and I are right and there is something in my brain that controls my moods/depressions/non-depressions (cyclothymia) than I would rather use food to feel better than ingest some little blue pill. There is something wrong with our society that we shove pills down our throats to solve so much of life's problems. Sometimes it's OK to feel sad. And sometimes we know deep down that we have very little control over whether or not we feel sad.
I have tested myself enough to know that sugar, white flour, alcohol and caffeine make me feel worse. My energy levels go down, my weight increases, my mood darkens and my cravings for carbs and sweets sky rocket. When I eliminate these things from my diet wonderful things happen.
I can't write about food and not write about all of the things I associate with food, which for me is a very long list.